Using Fear | Trivida Functional Medicine

Using Fear

Fear is one of the most disabling emotions a human being can experience. It immobilizes people and can ultimately prevent them from going after what they truly want in their life.  Everyone fears something in their life. However, it’s what we each do with that fear that distinguishes us from one another. When you allow your fear to set you back you lose energy momentum and confidence and your fear only grows. The definition of fear is “An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or destroy.”

I have a question for you: Does fear exist? Is it real? I know it feels real when you’re experiencing it. I’m sure most of you can attest to this, most of the time what you fear doesn’t even occur.  Fear, for the most part, is provoked by emotions not rational thinking.

Every successful person I know of has used fear as an indicator to determine which actions will provide them with the greatest return. They have used fear as a sign that they are doing what needs to be done to move themselves in the right direction. An absence of fear or concern is a signal that you are only doing what’s comfortable to you and that will only get you more of what you already have right now.

As weird as it may sound, you want fear in your life. At the very least, until you have pushed yourself to a new level or achieved your goal. Every time we experience something new, or contemplate experiencing something new, we may feel a sense of fear. In fact, if you don’t feel any fear with a new endeavor you’re probably not doing the right thing.  Rather than seeing fear as a signal to run as most other people do and must become your indicator to go forward. Fear should be used as a green light signal telling you to go for it.

For example, if you’re afraid to call someone on the phone then it’s a sign that you should call them immediately. Fear of speaking with someone is an indication that you should contact them and ask for a moment of their time.

Fear loves time, it thrives on it. The more time you devote to the object of your apprehension, the stronger becomes. So, if you take time away from your fear It has nothing to live on.  People give their fears much more time than they deserve. They wait to make decisions because they’re afraid of the outcome. Countless of individuals share the same excuse for why it’s not a good time or not the right time to take action; “I’m about to leave town”, “I just got back into town”, “I’m really busy at the beginning of month”, or “I’m really busy at the end of the month”, “I’ve had so many meetings this week”, or “Haven’t had enough meetings this week”, “I don’t have the budget”, “Business is bad, there’ve been changes at work”, “No one else can do my job but me.”, “I’m getting married”, “I’m getting divorced”, “I’m going on vacation”, “I tried it before and failed”… And on and on. All excuses in the world won’t change the simple fact that fear is a signal to do whatever it is you fear and do it quickly.  It Is the people that act quickly and repetitively that will advance their life the most.

When you were a child you found fear in irrational things, such as the boogeyman under your bed or a monster in your closet. But now as an adult you have a new “boogeyman” and new monsters, it’s called the unknown, rejection, failure, success and so on.  Fear is used as a scapegoat by many people for failing to act on what they truly want. After all this you still may fail and that’s okay. Failure comes in many forms it occurs whether you act or not. Regardless of the outcome I would say it is far preferable to fail or doing something then to fail by over preparing and doing nothing. To separate yourself from everyone else to make yourself better than you’ve been in the past you must begin to do what others refuse to do. Only in this way when you distinguish yourself and improve your life.

Let’s go back to the example of needing to call someone on the phone, a task that immediately causes you great anxiety. So rather than picking up the phone and making the call immediately you instead go get a couple coffee or think about what you’re going to say or do.  This lengthy contemplation only causes your fear to grow, as you imagine all the ways the call could go wrong and all of the potentially terrible things that can happen. And if someone were to ask you why you didn’t make the phone call you claim that you need to prepare before you make the phone call. But preparation is merely an excuse for those who haven’t trained properly and who use it as a reason to justify their last-minute reluctance.  Take a deep breath, pick up the phone, and make the call.

Fear doesn’t just tell us what to do, it also tells us when to do it.  If someone were to ask you at any point during the day what time it was, the answer is always the same: now.  The time is always now – and when you experience fear it is a signal that the best time to act is at that very moment.  If you remove time from your process you’ll be ready to go, springing you into action, an action is the only thing that will truly make a difference.

 

Author: Corey Feldman

 

 

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